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Fonzie's Guide to Being Cool

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Wise words from Fonzie:
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Three girls in the hand is worth a lot more than three nerds in the john.

Words to Live By--Click to listen!

Hood. Punk. Gangster. Dreamy. Call him what you want, because whatever you call him, he's still the coolest. His name? The Fonz.
 
So you wanna be like the Fonz eh? Well, you've come to the right place! Keep in mind that there's only ONE Fonzie and you could never be him, but these tips will help you succeed down the road of coolness. So take notes and in no time flat you'll be the King of Cool in your neighborhood.

Not lucky enough to live in Milwaukee and chill with the Fonz? Well, read on for his *exclusive* guide not seen anywhere else in the world- not even in Graceland.
 
1. When turning on the jukebox, always punch it. Why pay a dime when you can get some tunes the cool way?
2. Snap your fingers-always. It has many uses. Picking up chicks, getting your friends attention, letting someone know your mad, the possibilities are endless!
3. Learn the lingo. "Aayyyy" and "Woah" are a Fonz favorite.
4. Add "amundo"-to EVERYTHING. Correct? No, its correctamundo. Perfect? Nah, Fonziefy it-PERFECTAMUNDO.
5. To top this all off, you need "the look". Whats the look you ask? Well, you only need these 5 things. Only FIVE items to look that cool? Yup, because when you're the Fonz, you dont need much to look that good.
A. White t-shirt.
B. Tight jeans
C. Boots
D. A comb
E. And this is a MUST- a Leather jacket.
To top it off do your hair "D.A" style and hop on your Harley!! Coolamundo!
Dont forget the "Thumbs-Up". To those worthy of course.

Not ready to settle down yet? Well, neither is the Fonz, but always carry this list with you in case the subject should come up.
Fonzie's list of qualifications of a good wife:
1.Good listener
2.Good sense of humor
3.No mustache
4.Must be untried *Ralph: "Dummy, that means she has never been in court."* (actually, Ralph, it means you're a virgin--who's the Potsie now?)
5.High school diploma OR equivalency.

Quitting school aint cool! Woah!
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Do school Fonzie style! Drop out, go back, drop out and go to night school!

Fonzie's women. All 150 of them (roughly, I havent taken inventory yet), but here's a small list of some of his women who top his list.
*Dont forget to buy 2 black binders to put all your chicks numbers in...and rate them!!
1. Paula Petrolunga
2. Hooper Triplets
3. Lombardi Twins
4. Drinkwater Twins
5. Aloha Pussycats
6. And, Fonzies 2 favorite chicks: Laverne & Shirley
Hey, while you're at it, break a record- but one that wont make it in a book.

Fonzies 2 Favorite Chicks
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Click for my Laverne & Shirley site!

Fonzies best friend *Puur*
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Always have a best friend to lead you in the right path.

Dont wear cardigans, only hang with guys who do.
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In a gang? Quit. Fonzie did..he was too cool for the Falcons. "Fightin' aint cool."-Fonzie

When getting ready for a date, be sure to:
shower
brush teeth 
brush tongue 
Proper attire 
Set mood music 
Lip exersizes "Hey, you can't go out on a date with a tight pucka." 
Present token of affection (girls get 2 spurts of perfume - $7 a bottle (gallon)) 
aftershave "Three splashes at night - chicks turn off the light."