Ahhhh..Ralph Malph. The one and ONLY Ralph Malph. Whether he's picking on Potsie or telling a one-liner, Ralph is full of non-stop laughter. He leaves you with a pain in your stomache and a tear on your cheek, so what are you waiting for?
Ralph Malph didnt meet Richie and the gang until their sophomore year (how they got by without laughs is beyond me) and since then have been the Three Musketeers. Through thick and through thin with Ralphs wit he puts anyone at ease. All his life he dreamed of being a comedian, but had quickly changed his minded into following his fathers footsteps-an optometrist.
|There he goes!!
|Telling another gut-buster!
Ralph: Hey pop, I'm leaving.
*Ralph hides behind door, while putting spring glasses on*
*Mickey opens door, and Ralph jumps out and scares him*
Mickey: You did it again, Ralphy. Come on, let's go home and scare your mother.
Ralph: Alright pop.
Mickey: Come on Ralphy, let's give them one.
Ralph: Hey dad, I just got home from Africa, playing cards with the natives.
Mickey: Zoo lose?
Ralph: No I won!
Mickey and Ralph: Ha Cha Cha!
Potsie: Hey Rich, it's me and Malph Ralph.
Ralph: It's Ralph Malph!
Ralph & Potsie Being Charlie Cardinal:
Both: UWM, RahRahRah. The Cardinals are here, CawCawCaw!!
Ralph: Yes it was me, I'm the one, there I said it. Boy do I feel better!
Ralph: I didn't mean to, I'll never do it again, I'll move away, just let me live.
Richie: Fonz, it takes a very big man to look you right in the eye (raises Ralph's face) to look you right in the eye and say that.
Fonz:*smiles* I'm gonna kill him.
Ralph: A tornado, quick grab something heavy.
*Ralph hugs Dr. Himmel*
Himmel: Is this an American custom?
Potsie: No he's terrified!
Himmel: He's also pretty strong!
Himmel: You will no longer be bold and courageous. You'll be the old uh, uh...
Richie: Ralph Malph.
Himmel: Ralph Malph, boy what a name! Wake up kid!
Ralph: Excuse me, but can anyone tell me what time it is?
Richie: Yeah, it's 6:23pm.
Ralph: AHHHH!! Tornado time.
Ralph: AHHHH, Aunty Em, AHHHH!!
Ralph: A bunny? I thought she was a shaply Q-Tip!
Ralph: I love the ballet, I ache for the ballet, sometimes, I can get ballet aches.
(after Ralph rips his pants)
Lori Beth: All we have are tu-tus.
Ralph: Well, juts one will do, I still got it, even in embarassment.
Ralph: Fonz, who's that your dating, an army surplus dog?
Potsie: This place is really woodsy.
Ralph: Yeah, great place to take a termite to dinner.
Ralph: Who's your friend, Smokey the bear?
Ralph: We could've gotten here sooenr, but the huskies oculdn't pull the car.
Ralph: I slapped a tri-state hood, I must've been delirious.
Richie: You told me it was a surefire joke.
Ralph: It is, when you're wearing a rubber nose.
Ralph: I don't have to wearmy rubber nose, mine's already swollen, I still got it!
Ralph: Mechanic? Do you see grease on these hands?
Ralph: Hey, look at the Fonz, he's looks like he joined the air-force or soemthin'.
Potsie: (laughs) Hey, Fonz you look like you joined the air force or somethin'!
Potsie: Ralph, would you like some punch?
Ralph: Tonight, Ralph Malph (laughs) very childish, Pots, very childish. Tonight, Ralph Malph, the NEW Ralph Malph, will try and impress Olivia Hunsecker, observe!